Lost

I lost my career. 

Not deliberately. Not carelessly.

It just slowly ebbed away. 

It trickled down a deep, dark hole to where job applications live, the home of false promise, of Indeed, LinkedIn, Glassdoor. A hole fueled by misplaced ambitions and dreams. A hole that voraciously gorges on hours of work spent selling your soul. For dessert it devours self belief, confidence and ambition. It doesn't know when it's full. It just keeps going, sucking dreams wrapped like sinews from around your bones and washing it down with the last drops of positivity.

The loss leaves a void. It's easy to fill; busy people are never still.

But the void creates an empty room in your consciousness; a room waiting for someone to step inside and ask ”'Why are you in here alone, with your thoughts, your whys, your what ifs?”. Many pass through the empty room, well meaning and kind, offering glimmers of opportunity and reassurance. But they leave soon enough, their own busy lives pulling them ever forward.

Losing your career hurts. You become an apologist. Time is the enemy, quickly adding days and months to the gaps in your resume, requiring bigger, more elaborate rationale. Time also adds to age, the most brutal barrier to career.

But nothing is lost forever. It's just misplaced. It’s sidetracked. It took the wrong turn because of circumstance, not deliberation. Losing your career is a catalyst for rediscovery and reinvention. For outside the box creativity. For tenacity. For resilience.

In the empty room, I’ve met some new folks - Hope and Belief. Hope is good friends with Belief. They aren't 'in your face' kinda friends. They can be a little introverted, the quiet ones at the back of the room - discreet, patient. They are here for the long haul. They have to be - losing your career is not a 'penny down the back of the sofa’ loss. It's a little bit shipwreck, little bit car crash, little bit bereavement.

For now, I'm getting better acquainted with Hope and Belief. They might not be the party crowd I’m used to but their gentle hand of friendship is possibly the ladder out of the hole.